Self-care is one of the most important things in a person’s daily life emotionally and physically. Being able to manage our emotions helps us make better decisions, big or small. People who are emotionally determined and stable are in control of their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors and can often cope with life struggles more efficiently. Although getting to the point of a healthy mental state can be difficult and may feel impossible for some, it is possible to accomplish. 

According to the book Flourish By Martin E.P. Seligman is known as the best-selling author of Authentic Happiness “A visionary new understanding of happiness and well-being.” Chapter 1 pages 16-26 The Element of well-being talks about Authentic Happiness and the Well-Being Theory. The Well-Being Theory has five elements to the process. The first element is positive emotion (a pleasant life). Along with Authentic Happiness theory, both refer to happiness and life satisfaction, “Happiness and life satisfaction, as subject measures, are now demoted from being the goal of the entire theory to merely being one of the factors included under the element of positive emotion.” The second element is Engagement, which along with Positive emotions is assessed subjectively and measured by time and the moment you are in. The third element is Meaning, serving something that you think is greater than you or bigger than you. To have something you are passionate about and committed to that truly makes you happy and, to look back at all the good AND bad, not just the bad. The fourth element is  Accomplishment, succeeding in something, accomplishing something, and pursuing something. Victory and feeling of accomplishment are important in your life to give your life a little success feeling to make you feel Accomplished. The final and fifth element of the Well-being Theory is Positive Relationship. The majority of your accomplishments will be achieved around others and people who you are close to. A big part of your life joy is accomplished with the presence of others. It’s important to make sure you have healthy relationships that are beneficial for both people.

The first step to self-awareness and awareness of your situation/environment  is to slow down and look inward. Ignoring, avoiding, or hiding from your emotions will prevent you from growing. Sometimes growth is uncomfortable and unavoidable. You need to learn how to accept how you really feel and what you really want. You have to learn your boundaries and learn what makes you feel uncomfortable because although you need to learn how to grow and deal with conflicts, you also need to know your boundaries and know what you are not comfortable with so you can lead yourself on your own path. 

When learning self-understanding, it’s good to remember that everyone is different, has to overcome different challenges, and will have different methods and strategies for doing so. Once you are aware of yourself, and your obstacles, you can begin to understand how to work with them and use them as a strength instead of working around them. A step that must be taken is learning what you want, which does involve physical objects but mainly what you want emotionally. Figuring out what you as a person really want can help you find who YOU actually are and who you want to grow to be. You have to understand your limits and respect them but also know when it’s good to push your boundaries. 

Make sure when you are working on your self-care to allow yourself the time and energy to grow and be patient. One of the biggest things and one of the hardest things for you to do is letting things go, allowing yourself to not over stress. It’s important to not double the stress for yourself. Letting things go that are holding you down and keeping you from feeling free. It’s hard to take care of yourself if you have a constant weight on your shoulders. 

You can start small, and don’t feel pressure to be consistent, just be patient with yourself and listen to your own needs. Working on one thing at a time can ensure less stress and pressure helping the process feel natural for you. There is always room to grow and improve on your self-care and mental health.